


cookies

by tellmore



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Arguing, Crying, Eating Disorders, Fighting, Food, Hospitals, M/M, Panic Attacks, cody is a good boyfriend, dieting, noel is a sweet lil peach, psychiatrists, they turn out ok tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:50:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tellmore/pseuds/tellmore
Summary: based off the prompt:noel has an eating disorder and cody doesn't really understand it but is trying to be supportive





	cookies

**Author's Note:**

> read tags before reading ok!!!!
> 
> catch me on [tumblr](https://tinycody.tumblr.com)

It started with "cutting back." More fresh food, less junk food. Saying no to eating out, learning how to cook healthy food at home. 

Then, it went to no sugar. No carbs. Cut your daily calorie intake in half. Skip breakfast, have two bottles of water for lunch, maybe a salad for dinner. No dressing.

It became an obsession. Counting everything that was put in. Meassuring everything. His heart would skip a beat at seeing someone not measure the amount of food they were eating. 

He's just being health concious, right? Sure, he's lost almost 20 pounds and everyone is telling him how skinny he is.. But that's good, right?

When Noel and Cody get into an argument because he won't try the cookies Cody bought at the store, he realizes it may no longer be healthy. 

"Babe, you have to try these cookies I got at Ralphs. They're s'more flavored? Like, holy fuck, they're so fucking good." Cody was saying, with his mouth mostly full. Noel shook his head.

"Nah, No thanks."

Cody made a pouty face at him. "Come on, one bite? It won't hurt you."

Noel made a face at that. "What's that supposed to mean?" He knew he was picking a fight. That's all he does lately. He's been moody as fuck and taking it out on Cody, and he has no idea why.

"Well, you've been on this 'diet' thing for, like, 6 months now." Cody ran a hand through his hair. "And you've lost a lot of weight, and I just think you can slack off the diet now, is all."

Noel laughed at that. "Oh, so I should stop because you said I should? Right, that makes sense."

Cody slung the cookie back into the contianer it came in. "Is that what I just said? Because I really don't think it is." Cody ran a hand over his face. "I am so sick of everything I say to you being turned into a fucking argument, Noel."

Noel groaned. "Not everything is an argument." He knew he was being irrational. He could have taken a bite of that stupid, fucking cookie and been fine. 

Except, not really. Any time he caved and ate something he labeled as "NOT GOOD" in his head, he'd almost instantly force himself to throw it back up. At resturants, at parties, in his and Cody's home. This "diet" thing wasn't a diet anymore. And he knew that now.

Cody cocked an eyebrow at him. "You're fighting me over a god damn cookie."

"That's not why I'm fucking fighting you."

Cody stood up from where he was sitting at their dining table. 

"Please enlighten me as to why, then. Everything I've said to you lately gets twisted around and thrown back at me."

Noel rubbed a hand over his mouth. "You're being dramatic, Cody."

"Of course I am, Noel. I'm being dramatic. And rude. And needy, and fucking invasive, right? But that's just the shit you've told me this week." 

Cody looked hurt and it made Noel's stomach drop. He doesn't understand why it makes sense to argue about everything with him instead of just telling him what was happening. He was starting to get dizzy.

Cody started cleaning off the table. The dinner Noel didn't eat, the cookies Noel didn't eat, the wine Noel didn't drink. 

Noel could hear him sniffling, and before he even realized what he was saying, he said, "Are you really fucking crying over this?" Noel even winced at his own words. He'd never say that to Cody. Anyone else, maybe. But not him. 

Cody stopped what he was doing immediately. He turned to face Noel. Sure enough, there were tear tracks on his face. Noel felt broken. He looked the slightly taller boy in the eyes.

"I don't know what the fuck is up with you, Noel. But I can't keep walking on fucking egg shells around you. I'm scared to fucking breathe near you, because you just start being a dick." Cody walked into their bedroom and Noel heard their dresser open. 

He rushed to their door and he saw Cody holding his backpack, shoving clothes in. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Cody didn't answer, just went into their bathroom to grab his toothbrush and deoderant. 

"Cody."

Noel was crumbling. Why didn't he just shut the fuck up and eat the stupid cookie? Why couldn't he tell Cody what was going on? He was ashamed. Embarrassed. He knew Cody would never make fun of him, or make him feel bad for something. Cody wouldn't make him feel the way he was making Cody feel right now.

"Y-You can't leave.."

Cody looked to him. "Why? You don't fucking want me here." 

Noel shook his head. "Please, please put the bag down." He hadn't eaten today, or yesterday. He was feeling lightheaded from the lack of food and the stress of arguing. He put his hand on the door frame, supporting himself.

"I think we need a night or two apart." Cody said as he noticed Noel swaying slightly. "Are you okay?" He took in Noel's pale complextion and walked over to him. "Hey, let's sit down."

Noel shook his head again. "N-No, no. You can't leave me." Cody nodded, pulling Noel to their bed. "Okay, I'm staying. What's going on?"

Noel was seeing black dots in his vision, and he knew it wasn't a panic attack. He closed his eyes and leaned against Cody. "Codes, I-I think i'm gonna p-pass out.."

Cody's eyes went wide and he helped Noel lay back. "What do you mean? Are you having a panic attack?" Cody was getting frantic. Noel shook his head. "No, not that."

"Noel, please fucking tell me what's going on."

"Y-You need t-to call an a-ambu-" Cody saw Noel's eyes roll back and he started to freak out. He grabbed his phone and dialed 911.

He explained to the man that answered that his boyfriend had passed out and he had no idea why. He gave them their adress and waited for them to arrive.

When Noel woke up, all he saw was white. And something was beeping and getting on his fucking nerves. There were wires attached to his hand, something under his nose. When his eyes focused, he realized he was in a hospital. Fuck.

Cody was next to him in a chair, his hair a mess, probably from running his hands through it too much. His eyes were red. He looked beyond stressed out. 

"Babe?"

Cody didn't answer him, though. Some nurses came in and checked his vitals. One of the nurses said, "The psychiatrist will be in shortly." He wasn't sure to him or to Cody.

"Why the fuck is a psychiatrist coming in? What's happening?"

"You passed out because you haven't been eating, Noel."

Noel felt his heart sink. No. Fucking, no. Cody wasn't supposed to find out. Especially not like this.

"When were you gonna tell me?"

Noel looked over at him. He looked so tired. Noel was tired too. What the fuck had he done?

"I.. It didn't start out like that, okay?"

"Noel, they said your esophagus is damaged from forcing yourself to throw up, I-"

"I don't know when it got out of hand." Noel looked down. He didn't want Cody to see him like this. He noticed how boney his hands looked, his knuckles sticking out too much. "Holy shit, Cody.. I-I don't know how this fucking happened."

Cody reached over and grabbed Noel's hand. He wanted to cry. He want to scream and throw shit. He was upset and scared and angry, all into one. "Is this why you've been arguing with me so much?"

Noel nodded. "I took it all out on you.. I didn't even realize that's what I was going." Noel covered his mouth, his eyes starting to burn.

Cody noticed Noel's eyes water up. "Noel, baby.." He sighed and rubbed the hand he was holding. "You can cry, okay? You're allowed to cry."

It's as if that's all Noel needed to hear before the tears really started. Cody had Noel move over some and layed next to him. He wrapped his arms around him and Noel layed his head on his chest. Cody cradled the back of his head. "I'm right here, baby."

When Noel was released 5 days later, after intense sessions with a psychiatrist and a nutritionalist, Cody thought they were almost in the clear. They had a meal plan for Noel from the nutritionalist, he was going to have weekly sessions with both. He thought it was smooth sailing from there on out.

There was no way he could have been more wrong.

Cody was trying his hardest. He'd cook every meal for Noel, prepare every snack. He meassured out everything, twice. He followed that meal plan perfectly. He calmed down panic attacks when Noel had to eat a scoop of vanilla ice cream, he wiped tears when he had to eat pasta. 

Noel had put around ten pounds back on, and he was looking a lot healthier. He had good days where he'd even eat something extra. But if it was a bad day, it was bad.

They'd been sitting, staring at the same baked potato for almost a hour. Noel was flat out refusing it. Cody had been trying to be understanding as he could, but he was losing patience tonight. 

"Baby, please. At least half of it?" 

Noel just shook his head. Cody let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He knew Noel couldn't help it. He'd talked to the psychiatrist, too. He knew what he was up against. He was getting frustrated.

"Can you please take a bite? Just one?"

Noel shook his head again. 

"Noel. One bite."

No response. 

Cody ran a hand through his hair. "I don't understand why you can't have one bite of a potato, Noel. I don't fucking get it." He knew he was being rude for no fucking reason.

Noel shrugged. "Do you wanna get it?" He looked at Cody. "I- Cody, I'm trying to rewire my fucking brain, here. I'm trying to relearn that food isn't bad." He looked down. "I'm sorry, but I don't know how to explain it to you."

Cody sighed and nodded at him. "I know, Noel. I'm sorry." He reached across and took Noel's hand into his. "I see how hard you're trying and I see how far you've come. It's not unnoticed. I need to tell you that more." He stood up and took the plate from infront of Noel. "You know what?" He dumped the food in the trash can. "Fuck this fucking potato!" 

Noel smiled at his boyfriend and stood up, walking over to him. He wrapped his arms around his waist and Cody did the same. They stood there, holding each other and swaying for a few minutes before Noel asked,

"Cody, do you wanna go to Ralph's and get those s'more cookies?"

Cody laughed and squeezed Noel. "Absolutely."

**Author's Note:**

> leave me a prompt!!!


End file.
